The children are back in school. Sports and other activities are gearing up. Club fees, lunch money, sports equipment, school supplies - the expenses are piling up! Plus, the schedule is impossible. Are the kids supposed to be with Dad on Thursdays, but one child has football games and the other has dance practice? It may be time for a modification. Or, at the very least, a pro-active discussion to work all this out.

As children grow up, their needs get more costly and their schedules get busier. The Standard Possession Order (SPO) may be difficult when activity schedules conflict, especially if the parents don’t both live near the children’s activities. It is essential that parents keep the children’s best interest in mind as they work through the financial stress and scheduling chaos that can be part of the back to school season.

If parents find it difficult to put aside their own feelings and work together, the children will suffer. A qualified family mediator can assist parents who are divorced or in the process of divorce with these issues. A mediator will serve as a neutral third party to help parents work together to develop a plan that best serves the needs of all.

Whether you need a full parenting plan, a modification to an existing plan, or just some help navigating a rough patch, a family mediator can help make Back to School easier and less stressful for kids and parents alike.

Call today to see how we can help you!

832-439-3581 bcmediation.net

The number of adults choosing to live together, but not marry, is increasing. Inevitably, a certain number of these relationships will end. When a marriage breaks up, the path is clear - a divorce. When a domestic partnership breaks up, the path can be much less clear, but just as difficult.

First, the couple should determine whether their relationship would be considered a common law marriage. If so, then a legal divorce might be required. Be sure to check the laws of your state before proceeding.

Even if the relationship does not constitute a common law marriage, there might be financial entanglements that are difficult to resolve. Is there property that is jointly owned? Is there a lease signed by both parties? Have credit accounts been shared? It can be very difficult to unravel these financial commitments when faced with the turmoil of a breakup.

In some cases, the complexity of the division of assets and liabilities (debts) can mirror that of a divorce. However, as it’s not a divorce, the same legal guidelines don’t apply. Couples are generally left to muddle through it on their own.

Fortunately, there is a better way - MEDIATION. Mediation is a private and controlled process facilitated by a trained neutral party - the mediator. If an agreement is reached in mediation, the mediator writes up the agreement and both parties sign. The resulting Mediated Settlement Agreement is a legally binding document, enforceable like any other contract.

At Barahona Consulting & Mediation we have the knowledge and experience to help couples as they work through the uncoupling process. We are committed to providing our clients the best possible experience during this difficult time.

BARAHONA CONSULTING & MEDIATION

Reach out for your no-cost, no-obligation phone consultation today.

Tel: 832-439-3581 Email: kbarahona@bcmediation.net

Divorce is a highly emotional decision and experts say it can take years, not months, to recover. Unfortunately, as one works to accept and recover from the emotional upheaval, it is often necessary to simultaneously deal with the legal side of divorce. Emotional distress and logical decision-making are generally at odds. When facing a divorce, it is important to compartmentalize and separate the emotional from the legal. This will allow you to pursue a PRACTICAL divorce, saving money, emotional stress, and time.

Compartmentalizing and separating the emotions from the legal process is essential, but hardly easy. Seek support a therapist or join a divorce recovery group. Reach out to friends or family who have faced similar situations. Above all, take care of yourself - meditate, exercise, maintain a healthy diet. As you make progress with your personal, emotional recovery, you can start pivoting toward the legal aspects of divorce.

The most PRACTICAL path for divorce is mediation. Many believe the choice is to mediate or go to court. However, most family law courts in Texas require mediation as part of the divorce process. Therefore, deciding to mediate early in the process can save a significant amount of time and money.

Refusing to mediate, or refusing to settle in a court-ordered mediation, in order to “have your day in court” rarely yields the desired outcome. Many dream of proving why they deserve a disproportionate share of the marital estate or why their spouse deserves little to no time with the children without first taking the time to understand the basics of the Texas Family Code. Judges are limited by the law and do not make decisions based on emotional appeal.

Furthermore, court proceedings are public. Do you want your neighbors and co-workers to be able to attend your divorce hearings? Do you want your children to be able to access the court transcripts one day? Litigation is a matter of public record.

Mediation, on the other hand, is the safe haven in a divorce. The mediator is a neutral party who does not take sides. The mediator will listen to both parties and help them develop a plan for co-parenting. The mediator will guide them through the division of assets and liabilities. Most importantly, mediation is confidential. Mediation allows both parties to work through the divorce process with respect and dignity.

By resolving these issues early in a divorce, mediation helps parties save time, money, and stress and also preserves privacy for the family. If you and your spouse are facing divorce, mediation is the most PRACTICAL choice. Pro se parties, those representing themselves, can reach out directly to a mediator to discuss their options. Those working with an attorney should discuss the benefits of mediating as early as possible to reap the desired benefits. To schedule a free consultation to discuss your case, please visit our scheduling page or call to make an appointment.

To schedule: Schedule — Barahona Consulting & Mediation (bcmediation.net)

Kimberly Barahona, Credentialed Mediator

832-439-3581

kbarahona@bcmediation.net

Dividing assets and liabilities is a stressful part of the divorce process for many. There can be uncertainty about what should be divided and how, not to mention the worry about financial security moving forward. Below is some basic information to help you be prepared for this part of your journey.

First and foremost, understand that Texas is a COMMUNITY PROPERTY state. This means that most of the assets and liabilities (debts) will be divided equitably during a divorce. SEPARATE PROPERTY is not divided during a divorce. Simply put, community property consists of assets acquired during the time of marriage, no matter who earned it. Separate property is any property acquired prior to marriage. Also, inheritance, gifts, and personal injury settlements are considered separate property and are not subject to division in most cases.

To prepare for dividing assets and liabilities, it is important to start gathering information as soon as possible in the process. It’s good idea to gather 3-6 months of statements for every account, whether held jointly or in the name of only one of the spouses. Ultimately, it is important to know every dollar owed and every dollar held in any account. The balances and the account numbers will be required to prepare the documents necessary for the divorce.

Couples who can work on the financial issues together come out way ahead. Some are able to eliminate debts, divide accounts, and even refinance property ahead of mediation or court hearings. They generally save hundreds or thousands by avoiding time spent in adversarial proceedings down the road.

Retirement accounts must be included in the division of assets and are not always easy to divide. Given the fact that there are so many types of retirement accounts and that they were designed to be distributed later in life, the division of these accounts can be complex. When a retirement account needs to be divided, decisions need to be made about whether the funds will be distributed immediately or at the time of retirement. If the account was established prior to marriage but contributions continued after marriage, the funds could be partially separate property and partially community property. It is important to define in the Mediated Settlement Agreement how the funds are to be divided. Often it is worth the time and money to consult with a QDRO attorney for help with this complicated issue. Most mediators and divorce attorneys are qualified to help outline HOW to divide the accounts, but will generally refer clients to a QDRO attorney for the actual division.

In the case of complex financial holdings or in cases where hiding assets is suspected, it might be a good idea to consult a CDFA, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. While that is not necessary for most, many couples own a business together or have extensive assets. A CDFA can help ensure that the assets and liabilities are properly assessed and divided.

The decisions made during a divorce will affect you for a lifetime. Take your time and be thorough as a bit of effort now will help avoid mistakes and regret. Please contact Barahona Consulting & Mediation if you would like to discuss your divorce options.

Kimberly Barahona

Barahona Consulting & Mediation

832-439-3581 * kbarahona@bcmediation.net

Initial Consultations are always free of charge.

Conflict is a part of life.  We all face conflict at home, at work, with friends, with neighbors.  Most of the time we work it out or agree to disagree.  Unfortunately, there are times when the conflict is larger than our capacity for resolving it. 

Generally speaking, we each respond to conflict in a way that could be called our “conflict style.”  Some people will do anything to avoid conflict and others come out swinging with even the least provocation.  While we may be habited to responding a certain way, we can learn about the different styles and learn to make a mindful choice the next time conflict pops up. 

Let’s talk first about avoidance.  Isn’t it good to avoid a fight?  Shouldn’t we avoid arguments?  That’s true sometimes.  Say an intoxicated stranger at a bar tries to start a fight – best to walk away.  On the other hand, imagine that your co-worker has a habit of taking credit for your ideas.  Avoidance means the conflict is not addressed.  Negative feelings and resentment will continue to escalate.

Another response is accommodation.  The person who accommodates will go along with whatever is suggested, even at the detriment of their own interests.  In this situation, the goal is to appease the other person and thus minimize conflict. This might be appropriate in low level conflicts – like family members choosing where to go to dinner.  However, in more significant matters it would be wise to work toward a real resolution. 

Competition is the style of choice for the fighters among us.  From an accidental bump to an intentional wrong, the competitor is ready to solve disputes forcefully.  This person makes no distinction between small or large or even accidental or purposeful – winning is the only goal.  It is easy to imagine the toll on relationships when competition is the only method of conflict resolution. 

While the above styles are appropriate in certain circumstances, compromise and collaboration are generally considered the most effective conflict styles.  Compromise and collaboration require communication, give and take, and willingness to work together. Improving these skills goes a long way in building healthy, resilient relationships at home, at work, and with friends.

Every day people come into contact with others who have different opinions and perspectives and occasionally these escalate into significant conflict.  Understanding common responses to conflict gives you the power to choose your response.  Remember, although conflict is a PART of life, it does not have to be a WAY of life.  

If your business or organization needs help navigating conflict, please schedule a no-obligation consultation today.

Kimberly Barahona

Barahona Consulting & Mediation

832-439-3581  

The only constant in life is change. This statement has never been more true than now. Since the onset of the Pandemic families have dealt with work from home, school from home, the Great Resignation, closed businesses, wages up, and wages down. Current inflation is adding even more pressure. Co-Parents are struggling as never before to work through possession schedules, child support, and health concerns as the pandemic marches on.

If schedules have changed for parents or even for children, it is prudent to be as open and flexible as possible. The children are the ones who will suffer the most if one parent now has to work late on Thursdays and the other won’t discuss changing the possession schedule. It is important to work out a schedule that is both practical and fair, even if it differs from the original parenting plan. Mediation is recommended when Co-Parents have difficulty working it out between themselves.

Child support adjustments have been the source of many recent filings in family courts. Through the Pandemic, some parents have lost wages while others have seen wages rise. Cost of living has certainly risen. Each family’s particular situation might be unique, but it is important to reassess when there is significant change in income or expenses. For some families, past due child support may be the major concern. For others, it might be an adjustment as wages have risen or fallen. Most importantly, maintain communication with your co-parent. and be ready to provide documentation of a change in income. By working together it is possible to avoid costly court action. If you and your child’s other parent cannot reach agreement, consider reaching out to your state’s child support division or to a family mediator.

Health concerns are in the forefront as we learn to navigate the Pandemic as a society and can present new challenges to Co-Parents. Mask or not? Vaccinate or not? Visit grandparents? Homeschool? Co-Parents must prioritize working through these controversial issues together. Be mindful to keep disagreements private and to avoid arguing with or undermining the child’s other parent. Family mediators are specially trained to help Co-Parents work through these issues in a private and respectful manner.

The COVID-19 Pandemic has certainly brought challenges to all, but Co-Parents have been especially impacted. Whether dealing one or all of the issues discussed, remember that communication and respect are essential to working through this new normal. Some families will be able to work through the issues independently, but many more may benefit from the assistance a family mediator..

Call or text today to discuss your options.

Kimberly Barahona

Barahona Consulting & Mediation

832-439-3581

Co-Parenting can become even more difficult than usual during the summer. Routines are different and custody/possession schedules change creating added opportunities for conflict to develop. An important tool for reducing conflict is careful planning.

Pick-up and drop-off of children tends to be stressful and can trigger emotions in both the children and the adults. Child psychologists suggest that “picking up” from one parent’s home can be perceived by the child as “taking from” that parent. One way to avoid this is to always have the possessory parent drop off at the parent’s home who will be starting their period of possession. For example, on dad’s weekend with the child, mom takes the child to dad. At the end of the time period, dad takes the child back to mom. Another alternative is to meet at a neutral location for all exchanges. Most importantly, the adults should always avoid negativity regarding the child’s time with the other parent. This will help the child feel good about transitioning from one parent to the other. Remember, adult conflict should stay private between the adults and the children should be free to enjoy their time with each parent.

Communication with the child during the co-parent’s time of possession is another common trigger for conflict. Co-parents need to discuss and decide when, how, how often, and for how long communication will take place. Will the child call the possessory parent daily? By phone or Facetime? Be sure to take into account the age and maturity of the child. Also take into account that each parent has a right to enjoy time with the child without undue interruptions. Above all, be fair and balanced. If the child calls mom every day when spending time with dad, make sure he/she calls dad every day when spending time with mom.

Finally, the sharing of information is a third area that creates conflict among co-parents. Who keeps up with teacher conferences, dental appointments, and baseball schedules? How does the co-parent know when these events take place? This problem often gets more complicated in the summer months when you add in summer activities, travel plans, and back to school information. Many families have found that using an app such as Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard is an ideal solution. They upload all important dates and records (report cards, vaccination records, etc.) to the app and both parents can then access it at any time. Receipts can also be uploaded so parents can easily keep record of who needs to pay for what.

In conclusion, co-parenting is not easy. Conflict doesn’t automatically disappear when the divorce is final. However, the children need for both parents to work together in their best interest and that means reducing conflict as much as possible. By thinking ahead to situations that might be contentious and creating a plan, both parents and children will benefit.

Co-Parenting is a dance that divorced couples with children must perform together for a lifetime. The choreography is spelled out in the parenting plan. Sometimes that choreography works, and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it works until it doesn’t.

How do Co-Parents know when a modification is necessary? Honestly, most parenting plans can use a tune-up from time to time. Think about major changes that happen in the lives of your children or even in your own life. Any major change might signal the need for a modification.

Children go through different stages as they grow and develop. As a child moves from daycare to kindergarten or enters those fun teen years, Co-Parents should assess and adjust. Adjustments will probably need to be made to accommodate new activities at each stage - debate tournaments, sports practices, ballet class, etc. Points to consider include how many activities the children can join, what type of activities, who will take them to practice and events, and who will pay the expenses for each activity. It is also important to revisit the possession schedule as children grow up. Will there be flexibility if it’s Mom’s weekend, but Junior wants Dad to take him to an out of town soccer tournament? Or if visiting Dad out of town falls on Homecoming weekend?

The parents may have changes in their own lives as well that would indicate that it’s time for a modification. If a parent paying child support has a significant increase or decrease in income, it might be necessary to modify the amount paid. Changes in work schedules, remarriage of one parent, or a move to another city would all be good reasons to revisit the parenting plan.

Bottom line, it’s hard to dance well when the floor keeps moving beneath you. Hopefully your parenting plan already has provisions for changing circumstances, but that’s not always the case. Co-Parents can avoid conflict over changing situations by staying on top of the situation and seeking a modification when necessary.

If you think your parenting plan needs a tune-up, or even a major overhaul, contact Kimberly Barahona at kbarahona@bcmediation.net or call 832-439-3581.. There is no charge for a consultation via email or phone.

Parenting is a challenging endeavor, and even more so when Mom and Dad don’t live together. Maybe Mom and Dad broke up, got divorced, or perhaps they weren’t ever really together. In any case, co-parenting when living apart has it’s own special challenges.

In most cases, a Parenting Plan can help with these challenges. A Parenting Plan serves as a road map or a blue print. It includes provisions about child support, custody, medical care, holidays, summer vacation, grandparent visits, and more. In the best case scenario, the co-parents work together to craft a plan that makes sense for them. Alternatively, parents who cannot or will not work together may end up in court with a judge making decisions for them. Or worse, they have no plan and fight their way through every decision.

Numerous studies suggest that ongoing conflict between parents is much more harmful to the mental and emotional health of children than the structure itself of the family. Therefore, parents who are no longer together due to divorce or a breakup should take great care to resolve past conflict, to avoid future conflict, and to keep the children out of any ongoing conflict. A strong Parenting Plan can help with these goals.

The best way for Co-Parents to create a Parenting Plan is through mediation. Your mediator is trained to facilitate discussion and to help you create your own, unique plan while not leaving out any important elements. If you would like to discuss creating a Parenting Plan or need help modifying one that no longer works, please call Barahona Consulting & Mediation at 832-439-3581 or email kbarahona@bcmediation.net .

2020 threw us all for a loop. No one could have dreamed that COVID-19 was coming, much less understood the impact it would have. As we transition into 2021, let’s pause and do a little reality check before diving into those new resolutions.

First, think back to last year’s resolutions. Were you able to keep them, to meet all of your goals? Honestly, most of us did not. So before moving forward, take a moment to look back and do some reflecting. No need to beat yourself up if goals weren’t me. Also, no need to cross them off as failures. Most likely, some of last year’s goals are still relevant while others are not. Decide what to eliminate and what to keep. Next, look at the goals you are keeping. Do they need adjusting or revising? If so, take the time to do it.

The next step is to take those general goals and turn them into SMART goals. Many organizations utilize this method of goal setting as a way to increase the likelihood of success. So, just what is a SMART goal?

S - Specific

M - Measurable

A - Attainable

R - Relevant

T - Timely

By creating a SMART goal, you might not say “I want to be more organized.” Instead, you might say, “I am going to create a new filing system for my office by March 1, 2021.” The new goal specifies a task, making it measurable. The task is limited, making it attainable and realistic. Finally, the date provides a time frame for achieving the goal. If you want to learn more about SMART goals, you can read more here: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/smart-goals.htm

Perhaps resolving conflict, finalizing a divorce, or restoring a relationship is on your resolution list for this year. If so, Barahona Consulting & Mediation can help guide you through the process. Schedule a free consultation online at bcmediation.net or by calling 832-439-3581.

Only when you are realistic about where you are and where you want to be can you make the progress you desire. Be SMART this year as you work to turn your goals into reality.

YOU are unique. Your FAMILY is unique. Your FINANCES are unique. Unfortunately, when facing a divorce, many couples go to court and end up with a very NON-UNIQUE settlement.

Mediation is the answer when you need a custom financial settlement or parenting plan tailored just for you. By working with a third-party neutral, you and your spouse have the opportunity to work through the issues and make the best decisions for your family. A Mediated Settlement Agreement is created by AGREEMENT and is not limited by the Texas Family Code.

An example of a financial settlement that differs from the Texas Family Code might involve alimony. Officially, alimony doesn’t exist in Texas. Per the Texas Family Code, spousal maintenance might be awarded for a specified length of time under very limited circumstances. However, through mediation, a couple can agree to “contractual alimony.” Very often, the earning power of one spouse is significantly less than the other and “contractual alimony” can be used to help maintain the living standard of the spouse who earns less, maybe for just a transitional period. Another scenario might be that the couple’s accumulated wealth is tied up in the equity of the home. “Contractual Alimony” might be used to provide resources for one spouse until the home is sold.

Custody and visitation (called conservatorship and possession in Texas) are additional areas where a custom plan really helps some families. 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekends aren’t practical for a parent who works on weekends. Parents who travel often for their work might not be able to comply with the Standard Possession Orders. It just makes sense for parents to be able to create a plan that fits their own needs.

Mediation works because the parties themselves create their own solutions. Divorce is stressful enough - make sure you and your spouse give yourselves the best chance for a workable outcome.

Mediate - Don’t litigate!

Kimberly Barahona

TMCA, Credentialed Advanced Mediator

832-439-3581

BCMediation.net

COVID-19 has turned our lives upside down. Unemployment rates are at their highest since the Great Depression. Many face the uncertainty of whether they will have a job once this COVID-19 crisis is behind us. Meanwhile, rent is due and bills are piling up. What can be done now to avoid eviction, suspended utilities, or a hit to your credit rating? In fact, there are several important steps to take now.

First and foremost, know the reality of your situation. Cash on hand? Credit available? Family or friends willing to help? Unemployment payments approved, but not yet paid? Creditors cannot make agreements without knowing if the terms are actually realistic.

If paying the rent on time and in full is not possible at this time, contact your landlord or property manager as soon as possible, before the rent is late. Be realistic about what you can pay and when - nothing is worse than making an agreement you do not keep. When negotiating with the landlord, possible solutions could include the following:

1. Pay a portion now and make an arrangement to pay the remaining amount on an agreed upon date prior to the end of the month, assuming you will be receiving unemployment or some other income to make that possible.

2. Waive late fees due to the Coronavirus crisis.

3. Perform work for the landlord or property manager to offset some or all of the rent.

4. Lower the rent for 2-3 months during this time of crisis.

5. Reduce rent for 2-3 months but add the unpaid amount to remaining payments throughout the lease. (For example, 7 months remaining on lease. Pay $500 less for 2 months, total of $1000 delayed. Add $200 each month for remaining 5 months.)

Remember, while courts are not currently in session to hear eviction cases, the laws have not changed. Once courts reopen, landlords will take quick action if tenants have not paid their rent or made an arrangement. The worst thing you can do is to do nothing.

If making an arrangement is not possible because you don’t have the money or the landlord will not negotiate, then you may have to accept that an eviction is imminent. Your goal at that point is to move without having an eviction or broken lease on your record. As before, read your lease - some leases have grave consequences for ending the lease early. Even if you must move, work to negotiate the best move-out deal possible. Landlords have their own loans, taxes, and other expenses and may need to move quickly to get a new renter in who can pay. Landlords might be willing to waive some consequence of a broken lease in exchange for avoiding the time and expense relating to filing an eviction with the courts. Some negotiating strategies you could use include:

1. Offer to move by a mutually agreed upon date in lieu of filing an eviction.

2. If your lease is not up, explain your circumstances to the landlord. Ask if there is any way they could work with you to move out without the normal consequences.

3. Negotiate a move out date and make an arrangement to use part or all of your deposit to cover unpaid rents.

If all else fails and you are forced out of your home with no income to find a new residence, call any and all social services you can to ask for help. In many cities dialing 211 will connect you with resources.

Many of the same negotiating strategies will work with other creditors. The most important point is to contact your landlord or creditor as soon as possible, while options are still available.

In spite of these tough and uncertain times, being vigilant with your rent and debt accounts will yield the most favorable outcomes possible. Barahona Consulting & Mediation wishes you the best during this difficult time.

kbarahona@bcmediation

832-439-3581

In spite of our best efforts, sometimes bad situations can get worse. In the midst of this COVID 19 pandemic, there are certainly many couples contemplating divorce or who are in the midst of divorce and now feel stuck. Many are living under Stay at Home orders with no guarantee of when this will end. Be assured, however, there are steps that can be taken now to make things easier once this crisis has lifted.

Emotionally, divorce is difficult even in the most amicable of situations. Many who divorce benefit from counseling. If COVID 19 has given you more time on your hands, check out the options for online counseling or divorce support groups. A break from work might give you much needed time to work through the emotional process of divorce.

Finances can be devastated in a divorce. Use this time to take stock of your current situation . Check credit reports. Make sure your taxes have been filed. It is essential to know the truth - even if it hurts. Get information together that you will need, including statements for all accounts and your tax returns for the past 3 years. Think about what would be an equitable way to divide your assets and liabilities.

If you are working with an attorney, ask him/her what you can do now to streamline the process later.

Mediation is an important part of the divorce process and you can certainly take care of it now. Online mediation offers couples the opportunity to work through their settlement negotiations without having to wait indefinitely for this crisis to be over. Furthermore, the settlement agreement can be effective immediately or on whatever date the divorcing parties choose. No need to wait for the final decree!

Call us today if you would like to learn more about online divorce mediation.

Kimberly Barahona, Mediator

Barahona Consulting & Mediation

832-439-3581

kbarahona@bcmediation.net

www.bcmediation.net

Happy New Year, Readers!

With the New Year in mind, let’s think about conflict. Do you have conflict that has carried over into the New Year? Are you tired of trying to resolve the problem with no willing or productive participation from the other side? Perhaps it is time for a new resolution - RESOLVE TO SOLVE!

Of course making the resolution to solve conflict is the easy part. It’s the HOW that can be a problem. Whether your conflict is personal, like a divorce, or professional, as in a small business conflict, enlisting the services of a mediator, a third-party neutral, can be the key to success.

If both parties can at least agree to come to the table for a mediation, the mediator can facilitate discussion and help the parties craft an agreement that is mutually beneficial. Mediation is almost always faster and less expensive than using the courts to solve an issue. Furthermore, studies show that all parties are generally more satisfied with the outcome of a mediation than they are after a court decision.

If you have an unresolved dispute, maybe it’s time to RESOLVE TO SOLVE. Divorce mediation can save you thousands of dollars and result in a mediated settlement agreement that you both can live comfortably with. Small businesses can save a client relationships through mediation. Contact Kimberly Barahona at Barahona Consulting & Mediation to explore how we can assist you with your decision to RESOLVE TO SOLVE.

Kimberly Barahona

832-439-3581

kbarahona@bcmediation.net

Many conflicts are born from betrayals and hurt feelings. This is true even of conflicts in business or between professionals. Through mediation, it is often possible to fix the problem AND to salvage the relationship, whether personal, professional, or both.

Think about conflicts common in business. A longtime customer suddenly sues the business he has patronized for years. Or two business partners who are life-long friends suddenly find themselves poised for a court battle. Even new business relationships can turn unexpectedly sour. More often than not, the conflict has escalated more for interpersonal reasons than for professional ones.

A case I mediated a few months ago demonstrates this point precisely. Two friends were in business together and the business subsequently failed. After a time, one business partner sued the other over a long list of demands. However, once we began the mediation, it quickly became apparent that all the plaintiff really wanted was for the defendant to repay him for a personal loan. He was willing to drop the other demands if he would simply take responsibility for the personal matter.

Once this issue was on the table, the defendant quickly acknowledged it and committed to repaying his former business partner. In an instant, the atmosphere in the room went from contentious to friendly. It only took addressing the PERSONAL matter for the LEGAL matter to dissolve.

Think about conflict you may be facing now or might have faced in the past. Can you identify an emotional component to the conflict that hindered or is hindering it’s resolution? Look for ways to resolve the emotional or personal conflict and chances are the rest will fall into place.

If you need assistance in dealing with a personal or professional conflict, contact us today. We are here to help.

Barahona Consulting & Mediation

www.bcmediation.net 832-439-3581 kbarahona@bcmediation.net

Most people are familiar with the role of an attorney in a legal matter - a party hires an attorney and that attorney works for them, advocates for them, and provides legal advice to them. In mediation, the exact nature of what a mediator does and for whom the mediator works is often misunderstood, especially if the mediator also happens to be an attorney. In this article, we will examine that role to understand better just what a mediator does and to whom he / she is accountable.

Mediators are specially trained professionals who are charged with the task of facilitating negotiations between two or more parties in the interest of resolving conflict. Mediators come from fields as diverse as education, law, business, health care, and more to serve as third party neutrals. Some mediators focus on family law cases, some on civil cases, and some do both. However, as a neutral, the mediator must facilitate communication and guide the parties through the mediation process all while taking great care to never appear biased. In contrast to the role of an attorney, the mediator must never show favor to one side over the other nor even give the appearance of doing so. It is not the job of the mediator to evaluate a case and determine who is right or wrong.. It is the responsibility of the mediator to create an atmosphere of trust where the parties will feel comfortable discussing and negotiating to reach the best agreement possible.

Therefore, the mediator works equally for both parties., regardless of who initially sought to retain the mediator’s services. In mediation, all parties should expect a balanced, fair, and respectful opportunity to hear and be heard.

If you have a civil conflict or a family situation that might need mediating, please call us.

Kimberly Barahona

BARAHONA CONSULTING & MEDIATION

832-439-3581

Remember that scene in Legally Blonde when Elle Woods helps her friend get her dog back from her ex? The sad truth is that many former couples are fighting it out over pet custody every day. The law provides clear guidance for child custody when a couple splits up, but what about the pets?

In our society, people consider their pets to be members of the family. Facebook postings of “Fur Babies” are almost as common as postings of human babies. Unfortunately the law doesn’t recognize the importance pets play in our lives. The courts generally assign value on the pet as it would on any material possession - replacement cost. How much would it cost to acquire another animal of the same breed at a shelter or from a breeder?

So just how does the issue of pet custody get decided after a couple breaks up? The legal system is very limited in the scope of what can be considered. Who purchased the pet? Who paid for the care? Who performed the daily care? Additionally, the cost of going to court can be prohibitively high considering the expense of hiring lawyers and paying court fees. An effective alternative to court is mediation.

In mediation, the parties have an opportunity to sit with a trained mediator who serves as a neutral third party. The mediator facilitates conversation and helps guide the parties to a solution that works for them. Creative solutions, beyond the scope of what the court can consider, are often achieved. In mediation, shared custody and even pet support agreements can be crafted - results the court system would not be able to produce..

If you need help with pet custody issues, please call for a no-cost, no-obligation consultation. We would love to have the opportunity to help you and your pets.

Kimberly Barahona

Barahona Consulting & Mediation

www.bcmediation.net

832-439-3581

Mediation is a form of ADR - Alternative Dispute Resolution. Court-ordered mediation is increasingly common prior to a case being heard by a judge. This is true for many reasons, including the fact that mediation allows parties to be flexible in working out a solution that works best for them. Judges have little chance to be flexible - the law is the law.

Consider the following scenario: a young mother, who routinely has trouble making ends meet, is offered a promotion and a raise if she can work weekends. As a single parent, that would be impossible according to the Standard Possession Order set by the state. However, in mediation, she and the child’s father could negotiate and modify their previous agreement to adapt to the new situation. The judge could then quickly approve the agreement they reach in mediation. In this example of court-ordered mediation, everyone wins. The parents are empowered to make their own decisions and the court doesn’t lose time on a trial to decide the issue for them.

If you are involved in a legal dispute, whether civil, divorce, or other family matter, chances are that the judge will send you to court-ordered mediation before ruling on the case. Remember, if you do attend a mediation, no one can force you to reach an agreement. Mediation simply provides an opportunity for the parties to participate in a facilitated conversation and attempt to find a solution to the issue at hand. Court ordered mediation doesn’t work out? No worries - the judge will still be there and will be more than willing to hear your case.

Are you being required to attend a court-ordered mediation? Contact Kimberly Barahona at Barahona Consulting & Mediation to schedule your civil, divorce, or family mediation today. No obligation, no cost initial consultation.

Website: www.bcmediation.net

Email: kbarahona@bcmediation.net

Phone: 832-439-3581

Adult children living with their parents is occurring at unprecedented rates. In some cases the adult children are just late in leaving the nest while others return home after a loss of job or after a divorce. Regardless of the reason, living with adult children can potentially lead to conflict. Be proactive and formulate a plan before conflict develops, or at least before it gets worse.

Many cultures routinely practice multi-generational living. They learn from an early age how to divide responsibilities, respect privacy, and transition from one role to another. In the United States, that has not been the experience for most of us. Therefore, it’s difficult for many of us to adapt to this new reality.

The potential problems are many when an adult child lives at home. Often, views on morality and appropriate or acceptable behavior vary between generations. Parents may expect young adults returning home to observe the same rules as before going off to college. The adult child my try to assert his/her adulthood by rejecting any notion of rules or curfews. Another minefield is household responsibilities, both physical and financial. The parents may assume that the adult child will pitch in out of gratitude and the adult child may assume the parents would say something if they want more help. Either way, it is easy to recognize that misunderstandings can escalate into frustration and conflict very quickly.

Most experts recommend creating a thorough agreement when an adult child returns home or when a child at home becomes an adult. Talking through the issues and writing out an agreement helps ward off misunderstandings and future conflict.

Many families could benefit from professional help in this process, especially if a conflict has already developed or has a high potential to do so. A family mediator who is trained to work with high conflict families can assist you. A mediator facilitates communication between the parties and assists the parties in developing their own, unique agreement.

If you would like to discuss how a family mediator could assist your family, please contact me for a no-obligation, no-cost consultation.

Kimberly Barahona

Mediator and Parent Coordinator

kbarahona@bcmediation.net

832-439-3581

After divorce, many parents have difficulty working together as co-parents. No surprise there! It often takes years for the psychological wounds from the divorce to heal. In the meantime, children can suffer long-term trauma when parents have difficulty putting their own issues aside.

Parent Coordination is a program that helps co-parents work together for the sake of the children. Parent Coordination sessions are led by a specially trained professional. Through a series of several sessions, generally 6-8, the co-parents practice effective communication skills, explore best practice parenting techniques, and develop a personalized parenting plan that works for them.

Parent Coordination programs are open to all co-parents who feel they could benefit from this extra level of support. In extreme cases, parent coordination may even be court-ordered. If you and your co-parent are having a difficult time, then you can assume your children are too. Don’t wait - call for a no-obligation, no-cost consultation today.

Kimberly Barahona,

Mediator and Parent Coordinator

kbarahona@bcmediation.net

832-439-3581